by Carl Buchheit, co-founder of NLP Marin, training director and lead facilitator.  Recorded and first published in 2009

The “worst belief in the world” is: “The most dangerous thing I can do is assume that I am safe,” or, “It’s bad if I think things are going to be good.”

There are many variations: “The most dangerous thing I can do is assume that something (or someone) might not be dangerous.” “It’s not safe if things are safe.” “It’s not safe if things are OK.” “It’s not OK to think that things will be OK.” “If things aren’t bad, this isn’t good, because then things will be bad.” “The only way it can be OK is when I know how bad it will be.” “If I have things get better, then something bad will happen.” “If things are good, then the good things will be taken away.” Basically, the belief is, “Expecting to be safe and well will actually cause me to be powerlessly surprised by bad events.”

This “worst belief” structure is heart-breakingly painful. It almost eliminates positive meanings and good feelings from one’s Approved List of Survivable States. (This falls under a heading called Highly Valued States, topic for a future article). Anyone whose life is organized around this rule-for-reality must either perceive or imagine threat in order to be safe. The presence of threat is threatening, and the absence of threat is threatening. The absence of information about future negatives means that the future is threatening and negative. Of course, the presence of information and expectations about future negatives also means that the future is negative. So, the future is negative.

The awful thing about this “worst belief” is that it seems to help. It sets up and sustains a “reality squeal” similar to the familiar audio feedback in a PA system. The future is known to be negative, but this offers some hope for things to be controllably negative, and that is more positive, although it is still threatening and negative, which means it less negative than it would have been—and so forth.

When the future is negative, the present—the “place” in time from which that future appears to be perceived—offers little in the way of security. And the past just confirms the entire construction, the whole arrangement. After all, the undeniable fact of having survived a more-or-less permanently negative future is self-evident confirmation that the key to survival, and to having hope for something better, is to never expect something to be better. Thus, the only way to have any real hope is to be hopeless. The arrival of hope—bidden and unbidden—cancels the hope for hope, which can then open a pathway to hope, as long as there really isn’t any hope.

This is both torture and intrepid incarnational entertainment.

My experience is that almost everyone has some form of this “worst belief.” It organizes just about everyone’s experience to some extent, in some context(s). (I am sure that there are humans who are untouched by this completely binding belief structure, but they almost never make an appointment to come tell me about it.) The people I have met with the strongest, purest, most fervent expression of this “worst belief” were tortured when they were children. There weren’t “tortured,” in the sense that all 15 year olds are said to be “tortured.” They were actually tortured—physically, emotionally, mentally, or psychically—in the way that prisoners are tortured. However, very often the torturers had no conscious knowledge that this was happening for the torturees, who were their children. (This remarkable arrangement will also be the subject or a future article, or two.)

The “worst belief” stabilizes and is stabilized by fear, obviously. When fear becomes necessary for well-being, this is the belief that does the job, providing a steady flow of “things to be fearful about.” There are both “human brain” and “creature brain” components within the mechanisms of the “worst belief.” To understand how this belief is installed, we will begin with the critter side of things. So, we have to talk about…“The Three Pigeons.”

There was research, probably done in the ‘40s or ‘50s, that involved the then conventional torturing of pigeons. There was Pigeon #1, Pigeon #2, and Pigeon #3, and some sort of reference pigeons, or control pigeons, which were not tortured. To gauge the happiness and general well-being of pigeons, apparently researchers measure two things: the pigeons’ desire to eat, and the pigeons’ overall interest in making baby pigeons. This part is important.

Pigeon #1 lived in a cage lined with electrically conductive wire mesh, through which the researchers would occasionally and randomly send a highly painful but non-lethal current. Within the cage of this Pigeon #1 there was also an insulated perch—a place to which the pigeon could hop when things got painful everywhere else in its world. Pigeon #1 discovered this safe place very quickly in the research process. It could hop there whenever it needed to. Pigeon #1 did almost as well as the non-tormented birds, in terms of continuing to be interested in eating and making baby pigeons.

Then there was Pigeon #2. Pigeon #2 lived in mesh-lined cage just like that of Pigeon#1, but without the safe place, the insulated perch. There was no place Pigeon #2 could go, not way to escape the pain. Pigeon #2 did not do well at all. It soon ceased to thrive, and lost interest in basics of pigeon happiness. In fact, Pigeon #2 perished.

Pigeon #3 was the really important part of the experiment. Pigeon #3 lived in a cage almost exactly like that of #2. There was no insulated perch, no safe place, and no action that could make things better. But there was one key difference. In Pigeon #3’s cage, the researchers placed a little light—a little light bulb of some kind. The researcher on duty would flash this light a few times, just before sending through the painful electric shock. The remarkable thing was that Pigeon #3 did almost as well as Pigeon #1, who, as you will recall, was doing almost as well as the non-tortured pigeons on the scale of Pigeon Well-Being.

By being able to anticipate the pain, Pigeon #3’s little pigeon brain was able to keep going in life. So, apparently, even at this creature level, being able to know with certainty that a bad event is coming has great survival value. It lets us keep going. The warning, the flashing light, is a difference that makes the difference.

So, some of us humans just keep our lights flashing. Of course, by predicting negative futures, we more-or-less require future negativity. In fact, once we develop a permanent flasher (a painful but treatable condition called PF), we had better have bad things going on in our lives, otherwise we are stuck with being wrong or crazy. No one wants to be wrong or crazy. It seems much more bearable—even dignified—to be miserable. Misery we endure indefinitely; wrongness and craziness we flee immediately.

Like everything else, this can all be revised. But revising the “worst belief” is not about simply changing the belief to its complete opposite—something along the lines of: “Everything and everyone in the world is safe all the time and everywhere.” Most PF sufferers scoff at this idea, and sensibly so, since it is such a distortion—a willful caricature—of what is actually useful. In addition to being the “worst belief” turns out to be rude. It is rude because it insults and accuses everyone. When we experience being unsafe, we are insulting Life Itself. Life Itself must be used to this by now, given how unsafe most of us are, most of the time. Of course, in evolutionary terms, it was Life Itself that provided us with the neurological legacy that is necessary to be so insulting. This is part of the charm and adventure of being very human.

To revise “the worst belief” we must do at least two things. We have to create and install updates to our stimulus-response survival patterning. This is Behavior-level change, in NLP terms. Those pigeon brains may tell us a lot about how “The Worst Belief in the World” works at the critter level, but our human Identity is in on all of this too. So, creating the change, allowing the healing, also requires that we give Life Itself another chance, at least one other chance, with us. These revisions are more in the territory we call Belief and Identity-level change. This is the second of the two necessary revisions—changing our minds about Life Itself and Us Ourselves. To change the belief properly, it is necessary to know what we do want to believe, and to teach ourselves to forego the consolations of childhood anger.

That part is for next time: “The Magic of Malicious Compliance.”

© 2009 Carl Buchheit and NLP Marin

Below is a recent article from Portfolio.com.  I wanted to post it and see how like, or dislike, some of the comments to the article would show.  Some readers seem to think the article goes to great length to show God’s grace, while others…just the opposite.  Have your say after reading the article.

The Osteens, like so many American families during the recent real estate boom, spent the better part of the past decade buying, renovating, and selling homes, and became so proficient in the process that Osteen and his wife were able to skip hiring a contractor for their last renovation and go directly to the subcontractors to complete their mansion. Coming off the boom, during which the average American dwelling doubled in size, the Osteens’ digs are more modest than one might guess. The house is decorated in a rococo style that Victoria has called “French” and Osteen calls “fancy.” Their son, Jonathan, 13, and daughter, Alexandra, 9, are homeschooled, in part because their parents’ schedule requires that their weekend be shifted to Monday and Tuesday. During breaks in their lessons, they can play in the elaborate treehouse or the fenced-in rabbit pen behind the house.

As the actual weekend nears, Osteen rises at 5:30 a.m. to work on his sermons, which he delivers twice weekly. Osteen labors over them, speaking the words aloud as he types them into his computer. He considers the writing, shaping, and memorizing of his sermons to be the single most important part of his job. The message supports the whole enterprise, and he frequently turns to God to guide him when the burden of Lakewood, his success, or the scale of the church and business threatens to overwhelm him. “It’s just in me, God’s favor, faith, and hope.”

He believes, resolutely, in the value of the product he is crafting in his office on those quiet mornings. “Very rarely will you find a company that produces a widget where everyone is mentally and spiritually into producing a better widget,” Osteen says. “There’s a purpose behind what we’re doing. We believe in our widget. We’re doing more than giving people a good time or a better toothbrush, because it’s hard to put in your heart and soul and sacrifice so much to make a better toothbrush.”

Being backstage at a Joel Osteen worship event is remarkably similar to being at an N.B.A. game or a rock concert. Beefy security guards tell you where you can and can’t go. Crew members chow down on a buffet laid out by a local caterer and bark into walkie-talkies between bites. At some point, black Town Cars head down the long, curving driveway into the belly of the arena and drop off the pastors and performers, who retreat into private suites. The night is a celebration of music, state-of-the-art visual effects, and, of course, Christ. Lakewood spends a great deal of money attracting top gospel and Christian talent, and music minister Cindy Cruse-Ratcliff leads a team of Grammy Award winners, including gospel singer Israel Houghton. It’s a thumping occasion, with people dancing in the aisles and even the security guards singing along to “Come Just as You Are” and “We Have Overcome.” Osteen’s entire family is in the act. His mother, wife, and children often play parts in the service. But it’s Osteen himself we have come to see. He wins the crowd over with wholesome jokes and inspires with his sweet-voiced message. The sermon today is based on the notion of “hitting the DELETE button when you have those negative thoughts.” He urges us to banish that voice telling us, “I’ll never get that great job. I’ll never meet that special someone. I’ll never get married.” Hit the delete button, he urges, and reprogram your mind. “Just one inferior thought can keep you off balance and away from your God-given destiny.”

The crowd is eager, multiracial, and well-intentioned. We want to hear good words, have uplifting thoughts, be inspired by a positive message. Who doesn’t? We are here to escape our worries, or even better, to overcome them with hope. These are uncertain times, and we all feel the pangs of doubt. Can we pay our mortgage? Will we keep our job? When will we finally achieve the plus-size life we have been visualizing? Listening to Osteen, it all sounds so easy. Delete those negative thoughts. Focus on the positive. We are victors, not victims.

The highlight of every service is when Osteen asks those who are willing to turn their lives over to Jesus to stand up in the vast arena and make their commitment right then and there. It is an inspiring moment, filled with raised Bibles and palms outstretched to heaven; Osteen and some of the congregation are in tears. If we have been suffering, if we have been in pain, if we have dealt with financial insecurity, then this standing up, this raising of hands to heaven, this simple vow of faith, Osteen assures us, will start us on the road to wellness and prosperity.

For a moment, as the choir sings, “When the battle is over / and the fighting is done / we’ll lay down our armor / the victories all won,” and the orange, red, and purple stage lights are flashing, and a halolike luminescence surrounds Osteen as he promises to free us from our fears, to lift us above our doubts, to lead us to prosperity and joy, I think about my own worries, my debts, my career, my woes.

How tempting it would be to just stand and turn my will and life over to Jesus if, in exchange, I will be led down a righteous path of prosperity, taken in hand by Jesus, and Joel, and delivered to my gilded acre of the American dream. Yes, yes, why shouldn’t I stand? Because who am I not to want to be saved? Who doesn’t need a little bit of Joel in their life, tonight, every night, forever, leading us from this dark place to our promised land? Together, hands joined, shoulder to shoulder, we will march forward into our glorious future. Delete the negative thoughts, Joel preaches. Yes, yes, delete them.

1 – Adopt – Adopting someone is one of the greatest things you can do. You’ll change your life and someone else’s. Adopt a baby, a child, or a teen. By being adopted they’ll always know that there is truly kind people in the world and they’ll pay it back to society.

2 – Just Be Nice – This is something EVERYONE can do, you don’t need any money or any talent. Hold the door for someone, smile, or say hello. You will change someone’s whole day, week, month, year, or maybe even life. Then they’ll be nicer to others, which will just continue the cycle and you won’t even realize that YOU changed THOUSANDS of lives.

3 – Donate – Donate blood, food, time, money, or whatever you can. Donate online, help entrepreneurs in developing countries on Kiva, lend to people on Prosper, or just play the simple game on FreeRice.

4 – Be Positive – Bring more positivity into the world. It so simple but so effective.

5 – Listen – Listen to people, let them talk, learn about their lives, sometimes that’s all someone needs.

6 – Start a Business – Become a social entrepreneur with a company that donates a portion of your profits to charity, or employ those “at risk”. Don’t hire those who graduated from the most prestigious universities and had an easy life, hire those that struggled and triumphed through adversity. They’ll work the hardest because they know what it takes.

7 – Create Art – “Paint” the world. Create more music, paintings, writings, photography, or any other art. Art inspires, motivates, and changes lives.

8 – Get Vocal – Have a cause that you’re passionate about? Get out there and make your voice heard. Hold rallies, protest, write letters, write articles in newspapers, blog about it, or start a forum. Being silent isn’t going to do anything.

9 – Be a Great Parent – Teach your children about the world and how they can change it. Teach them that the possibilities of life are limitless.

10 – Pick Up Trash – No one seems to do this. Just pick up trash that you see lying on the ground. Every little bit helps.

11 – Talk – When you’re done listening, talk. Talk about their life, your life, the weather. Talk to strangers sitting next to you on a bench. You never know where it can lead.

12 – Be an Inspiration – Do something that people said you could never do. Take risks and succeed! This will inspire others to do the same and continue the cycle.

13 – Become a Teacher – Become a teacher with the true ambition of teaching children to succeed in school and in life. Teach from books but also teach from life.

14 – Become a Surrogate Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Whatever – Many children and adults who lost or were abandoned by a family member may desire to fill that void. Many children from broken families need help to break the cycle and statistics. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister, be someone they never had.

15 – Vote – Vote in your local elections and national elections. Choose a candidate that can truly follow through, not the one that promises all these grand plans that never seem to pan out.

16 – Don’t Be Judgmental- Too many people judge others on the way they look. You can’t judge a book by its cover. Someone may look completely different than you on the outside but be completely the same on the inside.

17 – Travel the World – Travel around the world and experience new places. Help the economies and people of foreign countries. Embrace their cultures and share your experiences of them with people you know.

18 – Dream & Do: Dream of a better world then go out there and create it. Dreams become reality with enough work and determination.

19 – Focus – Focus on one of these ideas or another one you came up with. Pour all of your energy into one idea until you succeed in changing someone, yourself, or the world. After you do that, then focus on another idea.

20 – Do Something With Your Life! – You don’t have to be a celebrity or a millionaire, just be an productive member of society.
Article Source : lyved.com